Articles
About Depression
Depression is more complex than just “feeling sad”. It affects children, teens and adults, and it may not look the same for everyone. Depression can result from: a medical condition (thyroid, lupus, PCOS, etc.), hormonal imbalance, genetic predisposition to mental illness, traumatic experiences, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), an undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental disorder, or an adjustment to significant life experiences - such as a loss, the end of a relationship, or even a move to a new city or a new job.
Some general signs of depression can be:
Persistent sadness, withdrawal, isolation, hopelessness, irritability, anger, hostility
Loss of interest in activities or hobbies, fatigue or lack of energy, lack of motivation, difficulty staying on task
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Pain or aches that are medically unfounded
Reckless and/or high risk behaviors
Thoughts and comments of being “better off dead”
Depression can make a person feel alone, and can lead to isolation. If you are going through depression, don’t isolate! Stay connected to people that are supportive, non-judgemental, quick to listen and slow to respond. Talk about it! Tell your primary doctor to rule out a medical condition and talk to a therapist.
Often times depression in children and adolescents is dismissed as "attention seeking behaviors" or "part of growing up". If your teen or child is showing signs of depression, talk to the pediatrician about it, connect with a therapist, and reinforce communication and connection. Below are some tips that can help you connect with your child or teen.
Listen and validate their feelings. Remember that being a child or teen has its own challenges.
Ask the therapist for family sessions to reinforce communication and connection.
Spend more time one-on-one, and show genuine interest in things that they like.
Be creative and intentional in finding ways to connect and strengthen the relationship. As your relationship becomes stronger it will be easier for your child or teen to communicate things that may be really hard to talk about.
Depression can feel like a bottomless pit. Don't judge, minimize or assume, be quick to listen and slow to speak, and be supportive.
Infidelity
If you have experienced an infidelity, you are not alone! According to research the number of marriages disrupted by infidelity and divorce has significantly increased nationwide, with evangelical churches catching up to the national rates.
Different factors can contribute to an infidelity, for example: history of trauma, past infidelities, failed relationships, comparing your spouse with a previous partner, generational and cultural beliefs, rejection, insecurities, pornography, unrealistic expectations, or looking for your spouse to satisfy an internal void.
Regardless of what led to the infidelity, there can be healing and restoration! But it requires forgiveness, transparency, accountability, and perseverance.
What can you do to start working towards the healing and restoration of your marriage?
Stop all contact with the other person and get rid of gifts or things that the person gave you.
Be honest and transparent with your spouse.
Identify personal triggers that led to the infidelity. Be honest with yourself about thoughts, feelings, or past experiences that can lead to a relapse.
Seek Couples Counseling and Individual Counseling. In Couples Counseling you will work on the relationship and in Individual Counseling you and your spouse will do your own personal work.
Be intentional about investing time in your marriage!
Think of a beautiful blooming garden! What would happen if you only water, clean and maintain one section of the garden but underestimate and neglect the other areas? The area that was neglected will become dry and wither. The same can happen in a family.
In the busyness of life, it can be easy to invest all your attention on a job, finances, service in ministry or even the kids, and underestimate or neglect your marriage. It is important to keep a balance, set healthy boundaries, and attend to every area.
Healthy relationships
You can enter a new relationship with a suitcase overfilled with past experiences and hurts, unrealistic “novela” expectations, insecurities, and fears that can jeopardize and even sabotage what could be a healthy relationship.
If you are considering entering a new relationship,
examine your heart, are you carrying a heavy suitcase?
What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
If you are carrying around an overfilled suitcase:
Counseling could be a good starting point to heal, learn about healthy relationships, and replace unhealthy patterns.
Stay connected with people that are supportive and trustworthy.
Last, give your heart time to heal before you step into a new relationship.